How to create a sexy titty table

A friend of a friend was moving a couple of monhs ago, and along with a sofa-bed we got two black IKEA tables, one long, one small. At the same time I became infatuated with the photos gathered on Retro Zone, so I thought I’d mix them up.

We started by selecting some of our favorite photos on that blog, and believe me, there are a lot of naked girls to select from. I decided to go with only black and white (vintage) images, so that it went well with the black background of the table. I also selected some color photos which I later printed in black & white. In total I ended up selecting some 150 images, which I printed in high quality A4 paper (two images per page, some 80 pages in total).

Then came the long and arduous task of cutting the images. We chose to cut around the naked girls, getting rid of all backgrounds. We used a corner to cut through difficult corners. After two or three days of cutting we ended up with lots of naked girls in silouhette form, and lots we left as big rectangles so that they could be used as the very first layer of the collage:

Then we chose how to best arrange the background photos, and glued them using varnish glue (that glues and varnishes at the same time, duh!):

After the first two images we found out it was better to go really easy on the glue that goes on the bottom of the image, because if there’s too much as it dries it makes bubbles and ripples that cannot be removed once completely dry…

Once that first layer dried overnight we chose and pasted the smaller images that would come fill the gaps between the background images and complete the whole collage:

Once that also dried overnight we did three or four more layers of varnish, and proceeded the same way for the legs (though I have to admit we did those pretty quickly, with less attention to detail…):

The do a couple more varnish layers, let dry, and Voilà!, you got a sexy coffee table which won’t let anyone indifferent! And don’t forget to fondle the crap out of that table!